but that's not fair!

*rueful laugh* As kids, how many times did we say that phrase? Mommy, it's not fair he gets one more jelly bean than me. Daddy, it's not fair I always have to walk the dog. God, it's not fair I'm not as pretty as Susanna. It's just not fair!!

Eventually, our moms/dads got fed up with our whining and proclaimed: Honey, life's not fair.

she's so cute when she's pouty ;)

At age six or seven, that saying made me oh-so-mad. It's the perfect kid shutter-upper, as there's no response to it. *shakes head* But now, ten years later, it actually makes sense.

Life isn't fair. It hasn't been since Eden. Once Adam and Eve sinned, this world has been full of unfair things.
Racial, sexist, and religious prejudices are abundant. Innocent babies die every day from abortion. People are starving to death, while others have caviar and champagne for dinner.

yup.....life's not fair. But you wanna know something crazy? I'm happy about that.

And this life sentence that I’m serving

I admit that I’m every bit deserving

But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

~Relient K

If life were truly fair, we humans would all be going to Hell. If life were fair, like we think it should be, God wouldn't care a sniff about us sinners. Because of the sin commited in the Garden of Eden, we would be condemned to an eternal death.

And yet, Jesus chose to save us. Why? Because of grace. Because we have a God who loved us so much, He sent His Son to pay the penalty for our sins. Because our Savior chose to go through the terror of Hell, just so we could have the chance to live.

Life's not fair.....and I for one am thankful for that.

that awkward moment when...

you have all these great posts in mind, but you just can't form the words.

you stay up really late finishing a Composition assignment and are practically dead by 3:15 the next day.

you have to stand outside your co-op, shouting a Shakespearean sonnet for your drama class.

you are starving but can't find anything you want to eat.

you think you understand chemistry....and then everything gets turned upside down and you're utterly confused.

you realize you've only capitalized two words in this whole post. and you really don't care.

you have a hard time saying, "I'm sixteen" 'cause it's just so foreign.

one certain person is constantly in your thoughts...even if this person is nice to think about, it's still awkward. *sighs*

you realize you are extremely ticklish.

all these gifs make you ridiculously happy. *giggles*

you realize this post is full of moving things and random sentences.

that lovely moment when all these awkward things make a perfect, perfect day.

Stellar Kart gets my heart

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about things other than God. Don't get me wrong---God's been in my life, but He hasn't quite been my entire focus. And, in the end, God is the only one who matters.

Don't take this the wrong way.

You're so perfect.

And everything tells me you're so worth it.

I want to get to know God better.....but for some reason, I'm finding it kind of hard to get in touch, truly, with God. I know it's got something to do with me...perhaps it's laziness. Check that: it's probably laziness.

Spending time with you.

Not a moment goes by.

That you're

not by my side.

I can always feel God with me. Whether it's a song He sends, a verse He shows me, or something wonderful that happens, God never fails to show me His love and how much He cares. So why do I still feel like I'm missing something here?

Spending time with you.

You're all that I want.

Why's it so hard to do

 I know God is with me, I love Him, and I try to give Him all my time and heart.....but sometimes, it's hard. *sighs wistfully*

Just so happens my schedule is empty.

But still there's no room for you.

Time has come and gone.

And things have come along.

That take me away from you.

God, please show me how to find more time for You and You alone.

Farewell, fifteen......hello sixteen

listening to: Red Sky by Brandon Heath
wondering: what my birthday dinner will be

Dear fifteen,
I must say, you were a very good year. And I will most certainly miss you! You were quite possibly the best year I've ever lived. 'Course, I don't know sixteen all that well yet, so I shouldn't be picking favorites. *wink wink*
 I met new lifelong friends, fell in love, and grew up so much with you! I've become closer to God, and am close to figuring out His will for my life. I learned a lot about myself with you, fifteen. We had some good times together, eh? WorldViews, getting my permit, becoming a pen-pal.....you were fun to be around.
 There were some rough times as well, but God got us through it. Now, however....it's time to bid you farewell. I'll never forget you, fifteen.
love always,
                  me

Dear sixteen,
 I pray you are sweet, as the cliche goes. So far, roughly twelve hours into our friendship, things are going well! It will take some adjustment on my part. After all, you're kind of old! "Big" girls are sixteen, don't ya know. *shakes head* Not sure I'm ready to feel this old.
 I plan on doing some crazy things with you, so I hope you're prepared!! Getting my license, playing volleyball, mission trips, a {real} job----I've got lots of things for us to do! Some of them are going to be scary, like getting a job. But God did not give me a spirit of fear; He gave me a spirit of hope and faith. Nothing is impossible with Him. Nothing.
 hello again, sixteen. May you be all I wish for, and more.
love always,
                   me

happy is as happy does.....and this happy is very happy

1. this website and these cute animals that I need to make!!! Seriously....isn't he just the most adorable stuffed animal ever? Once I actually have socks to spare/time to spare, I'll be making some of these little cuties.

 via

 2. My sweet sixteen party was on Saturday. Needless to say, it was one of the best days of my life. Surrounded by dear friends, with good food, dressed in a pretty dress....it couldn't get any better than that. (:

I don't turn 16 'till Friday, so this is kind of my birthday week. *laughs*

one of my favorite cards.....from Robert and Emily. I'm thinking Robert actually picked it out, though ;)

 3. I have been eagerly anticipating the arrival of this movie. Logan Lerman + Orlando Bloom + Matthew Macfayden= a film I will definitely be seeing. Though The Three Musketeers isn't my favorite book, it's still a very interesting plot and should make for an pleasurable movie-watching experience {teehee, doesn't that sound like a movie review?!? and I haven't even seen it yet *giggles*}.

4. I got Little Dorrit as a gift from Emily. Once I get a break from the neverending load of school *sighs* I'l be delving into it. EJ also wants me to watch the BBC adaption of it, which I look forward to doing sometime in the near future. Have you read/seen Little Dorrit? What'd you think?

5. I've been pondering my future quite a bit lately. Where I'll go to college, what my children will look like, where we'll live, how me and my husband will raise them----so many questions, and only God has the answers. *shakes head* Just gotta keep trusting in Him, right?

wouldn't mind if His plan included my future family living in this house

6. I feel like life has been going a million MPH lately, with soccer, school, church stuff, and just the process of being alive. And yet.....I don't think I've ever felt closer to God than before this time. My relationship with Him certainly does go through ups and downs! I'm just so glad He's always there, even when I'm in a bad mood.

your-moody-blogger,

~Lily

October, thanks for being fantastic

I'm feeling alive and random.

 I'm currently wearing jeans, cozy socks, and my WorldViews sweaetshirt. Mom and I are watching "Four Weddings" with the fire warming my toes. Church was great this morning....as was my cousin's 6th birthday party last night. My back still hurts from all the piggyback I gave, but it was all worth it.

I've devoured probably 6 pounds of candy corn this weekend. My stomach is protesting, but I really want more! I've also filled myself up with apple cider, both hot and cold. *sighs contentedly*

I babysat on Friday, and the boys' mom lent me her copy of The Hunger Games. I love that my reputation as a book-lover precedes me :) Anyway, it was pretty good.  Like Lauren said, it was pretty sad/violent, but over all I enjoyed it. Hopefully I'll get to borrow the second one. ;) 

The first weekend of legit autumn weather....and I have a cold. *eyeroll* Figures, right? But at least I have blankets, tissues, and a full mug of hot tea. Oh yes, and last season of Psych on Netflix. Ohmyword, I fully admit---I have a weird, schoolgirl crush on Shawn Spencer. 

So in other words, my life is pretty content. Other than the crazy amount of schoolwork I have to finish. *third or fourth sigh* oh yes....and this picture is basically amazing.

*left to right* Emily, me, Hannah, and Lydia. Sitting outside of the movie theatre after seeing Lion King in 3D. 'Twas amazing, and so were our feet. ♥ ♥ ♥

love always,
~Lily