a wake up call {of the lovey-dovey sort}

all images via

Let me be honest: I've thought a lot about my future. As you, my dear followers, know more than most. And naturally, high up in my thoughts about 'someday' is my future husband.

I can't tell you how many times I've thought, Goodness, I wish I could get past this awkward teenager stage, and just get on with my life! I want to be married, not dating; to have a husband, not a boyfriend; to be in a forever love, not just a summer fling.

 

I'm guessing a few of you have thought that too. And whether it's because you haven't found anyone you can imagine marrying, or things in that part of your life are just too jumbled to even comprehend, you're with me on the whole, "God, can I please just find My Guy already?" issue.

'cause we all want this

Isn't so tempting to fall into this mindset? I want My Guy, even if we can't really be married for a few years. I just want him to know how much I love him! Sometimes, I think that I'm ready for that relationship....well, until God intervenes. *wry grin*

 

 Oh, our Lord. He's got pretty impeccable timing, huh? Just when I think I'm mature enough to handle a man's love, He brings something to my attention that completely changes my outlook on relationships.

This is My Guy, summed up in someone else's words. They're very nice words, aren't they? And oh-so-true. But what really got me thinking were those last three sentences. Give me your hands so I'll always be able to pray for him. Give me Your eyes so I can see good things in him. Give me Your mouth that is filled with wisdom so that I can support him.

I read those words again, then give myself a good look in my proverbial mirror. The results are quite hideous. Why should I expect to love and be loved in return by a special dude when I can't even show that love to my own family? If I can't pray for my own friends, how can I expect to pray for My Guy? If I can't see something good in every person I meet, how would I see good things in him? And if I can't let God's loving words come through my mouth to my little brothers, why should He give me a guy?

Oh, conviction. Nasty little bugger, huh? But honestly---if I want the type of man described above, I've got to be a woman as described in Proverbs 31. I really need to get closer to God, and learn His ways, before I allow myself to become truly romantically involved.

dear Beloved,
I may know you already, I may not.....but I just want you to know I'm taking these next few years to become the woman God wants me to be. I'm not ready to love you in that way, but I do love you, as the silly sixteen year-old that I am. Please be patient as I strive to become more like Him, and figure out how to be the woman you deserve.
always yours,

-L

soon will eventually be now

I've been trying to learn contentment lately. More specifically, contentment in staying home.

Y'all know me--I'm that girl who's happiest when she's in the car, with her family, driving to some place she's never been. I'm the girl who keeps up with the current prices of plane tickets {crazy, by the way} and occasionally visits tour guide websites. The girl who sighs whilst reading Facebook statuses and blog posts about trips to England, France, and Spain. Who wants to follow in Mom-mom's footsteps, accompanied by her soul sister. The girl who wants to see everything this world has to offer.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

But this girl {hey guys} also knows God is good, and He has a season for every thing I'll do in life. He's given me a dream of traveling, and I know He won't let that dream die. And while it's hard to say to myself, "Just wait a little longer," I believe waiting makes the prize even better. It's like waiting for anything in life, 'cept this dream takes a bit of money, involves a lot of planning, and will be a totally new experience.

Soon is my new favorite word. Soon I'll have my driver's license. Soon I'll have a real job. Soon I'll be an adult. Soon I'll be old enough to date. Soon I'll be traveling the world.

Ah, what a thought.

-L

"our love is like the wind---I can't see it, but I feel it"

No, I'm talking about romantic love here--- I mean the love God has for me.

When wind rushes past me and through my hair, it's like God is giving me a great big hug. Every wind has its own speed, touch, and smell, reminding me of how marvelous God is. Breezes on summer evenings {making me peaceful} and April afternoons {with the soothing aroma of flowers}, an October gale {making me feel alive} and that special wind before a storm {giving me shivers and goosebumps}.

This is the most poignant way, other than music, that I feel God with me. Like my blog name states: God snatched me from the wind of this crazy world and set me in a meadow of love. I can still sometimes feel the bitterness and anger of the outside, but He keeps me safe with His own breezes and gales.

And He will send His angels with a loud trumpet call, 

and they will gather His elect from the four winds, 

from one end of the Heavens to the other /// Matthew 24:31

The ways God uses to touch my heart are simply awesome. And by awesome, I mean literally they inspire awe in me. He's just so good, ya know?

He makes winds His messengers,

flames of fire His servants /// Psalm 104:4 

 it's official....our God rocks. 

-L

physical and emotional absence explained

 I've been lazy with this blog of mine, it's true. Honestly though, I have been trying to think of things to write about! But I'm not God, therefore it's hard to organize the galaxy of my mind

Even when life is at its regular pace, it seems like my brain is moving a million miles an hour. Not cool when you're trying to come up with a readable, enjoyable blog post.

So many things are happening in my life, yet I don't feel ready to talk about them yet. And yeah, you could say I'm a bit scared of these occurrences. Most of them are wonderful, all of them exciting---but as always, change is a worrisome thing for me. Especially when some of these changes also rest upon another person, and not just my own understanding. *raises eyebrow* Ooooh, you're intrigued now, aren't you? Well sorry, but you're just gonna have wait a wee bit longer to get that information.

I just wanted y'all to know how much I appreciate each and every one of you. I can always count on your comments to make me smile, even if my day is a complete blah.

Hopefully, with summer coming ever closer, life will slow down enough so I can catch up, breathe, and write about all that's happened in the last six months. Until then,

just keep waiting,

just keep praying.

love always {and forever},

-L

 o.y. Happy Mother's Day to the most wonderful, beautiful woman I know. I love you, Mommy.

that urge you sometimes get to make a time machine, travel back to the Garden of Eden, and slap Eve right across the kisser

alternately titled: the wages of sin stinks

And if I could go back, after slapping Eve across the kisser, I'd give Adam a piece of my mind too. I mean, what sort of man actually does what his wife tells him to, at the exact moment?

This probably seems like a humorous approach to the wages of Adam/Eve's sin, which is of course Death. But honestly, I've really been thinking lately about this subject.

I've been blessed in my sixteen years to avoid the loss of many loved ones. Mom-mom's passing was the deepest pain I've experienced, but since then I have been touched by the aching Death brings.

As sinners, we obviously deserve Death, and eternal damnation in Hell. I'm the farthest thing from perfect, and I get it. But even for Christians, a loved one going to Heaven ahead of you is hard. You think of them every day, yet you know that they really don't/can't miss you. After all, missing someone requires a bit of sorrow, and we know that in Heaven there is no more sadness and no more tears.




So basically, this song sums up the pain of Death for those who have given their lives to Jesus: it doesn't hurt when we die, it hurts when those we love go on before us. Jesus has taken the penalty upon Himself, but we still have to wait a while before we can join Him and those special people.

and that's what stinks about Death.

so....it's spring

Lovely sunshine is coming through the blinds. My windows are open, and the breeze is oh-so-sweet. Blossoms are falling off the tree right outside, reminding me of a scene from Narnia. It's one of those days where any sort of new, exciting thing could happen.

I have new Converse on my feet, that I've been saving for since last year. Relient K is stuck in my head {what could be better?}, and I'm anticipating a call later on today from my soul sister. After studying some chemistry, that is. Yay for Lewis structures and balanced equations! she said in a semi-sarcastic tone.

The Hunger Games is finally in theatres, and I'm crazy excited to see it with my Crew. I spent most of last night listening to Lecrae on YouTube, and am blown away by how powerful his songs are. He makes me want to go out in the world and scream, "I love Jesus!" to anyone who will listen.

 I'm back playing soccer at the private school, and am so thankful for the friends I've made there. It's funny how much happier you are when you have sisters in Christ around you. I've been writing in my journal a lot lately, which would explain for the lack of posts on here. Hopefully, I'll get back in my groove soon.

God is so good. And that's the most wonderful thing about this spring day.

"You touch my heavy heart, and when You do You make it light."

love always,

~Lily

You promise me that I'll get through this

When you were a kid, it was easy to feel jealous. You were jealous of your neighbor's new bike, or your friend's long hair, or even something petty like your brother getting a hug from Grandma before you.
I'm sixteen, and I know I can't have everything I want, and that life's just not fair. But now that I'm past the kiddy jealousy, Satan has stirred up more feelings of desire.....a desire for the 'gifts' that my peers have.

Someone is better at speaking than me; he/she will be a great leader someday. She's an amazing writer; God will certainly use her as an author. He knows everything about theology; God obviously wants him to be a pastor. Those two have such a way with people; they'll probably end up as wonderful missionaries.

And so discontentment fills my heart yet again. After all, what can I do? I get nervous in front of crowds, my writing is sporadic, I don't explain theology well, and I'm not the most outgoing girl in the world. How could God use me to do His will?

“Let no man despise his calling; whatever instrument of usefulness God hath put into thine hand, consider that the Great Captain knew what weapon it were best for thee to wield. Covet not thy neighbour’s sword or spear, but use that which thy Lord hath given thee, and go forth to the battle of life to serve according to thy capacity.” ---Charles Spurgeon

I stumbled upon this quote while perusing Tumblr one day. I stopped scrolling and read it over about five times. I was hit with this feeling of guilt mixed with relief {strange feeling, by the way}.

Here I was, assuming God, the Creator of Heaven and earth, couldn't use little 'ole me to do something in this world! The same God who closed the lions' mouths, made manna rain from Heaven
and who brought down the walls of Jericho can easily make me someone special.

"but use that which thy Lord hath given thee, and go forth to the battle of life to serve according to thy capacity." I'm not invincable---that's a given. But that quote helped me remember that God will use me, somehow, to make a difference. He's given me gifts....now I just have to find out what they are :)

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all

And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all

But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless

And when I think that I can't do this

You promise me that I'll get through this

And do something right

Do something right for once.

-Relient K

Lord willing, I'll find out what special things I can do on this earth very soon. I'm getting tired of the waiting.....but "patience is a virtue," as my dear Bleah reminded me.  

just keep praying, just keep waiting.

the girl who remembers....and should forget

We all have those songs that speak to us, in amazing ways. I love it when God shows His love for me through inspiring lyrics.

And, for the most part, I usually act on lyrics He sends me. By Your Side taught me to trust Him. Your Love is a Mystery showed me His love is radical. Background reminded me to let God be first in my life. And Have Your Way made me realize God knows what I want, what I need, and He'll provide for me.
But a new song that's been playing over and over in my head has been, well, tough to put into real life. Here are the main lyrics:

I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it.
-Relient K
One of my signature traits is I remember things. I remember conversations from years ago; times spent with now-lost friends; memories made with people I love.

Some of you might say, "Why Lily, that's a great gift!" And, most of the time, it is! I can recall good times and stories that will never come about again. But my mind also retains bad things; sad, confusing, depressing memories.
I've come to look upon my 'fabulous memory' as a sort of curse. While those around me forget things, and move on, I'm stuck in the past. At night I replay my mistakes over and over in my head. My mind is a sponge, soaking up every word spoken and moment lived. That includes those I should forget.

I need to let some things go from my brain.....but I'm not sure how to start the detoxing process.

'cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even

These lyrics are so, so true. This past year brought me a lot of heartbreak. People I had once trusted turning on me. Old friends forgetting about me. People I cared about changing, 'till I didn't even know who they were. The fancies of 'first love' fading away.

And as every hit came, I thought to myself, "Surely, this will be the last one. Surely my heart cannot take any more pain!"

But of course, it all kept coming. Little things, big things, things that hardly even matter---they all hurt.

With God's neverending love and grace, I got through the hardest times. With special Bible verses, He calmed my soul. By giving me true friends, He healed the cracks in my heart. And by playings the right songs at the right times, my Father soothed the pain I'd been holding inside. He showed me true love, of all kinds, that will never leave me.

For the king trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High, he will not be shaken.

--Psalm 21:7

And for a while, I was okay. I began to move on from my past and live in the present. But by various means, the moments of heartbreak started coming back. A picture from last year, an old blog post, and a chance meeting kept on reminding me of the hurt I'd been through. So, being the stupid human I am, I let the wounds that were finally healing began to reopen.

Yet even while I was torturing myself with old pains, Jesus opened His arms and engulfed me. I realized things that hurt me hurt Him too--- and that's just not cool. Jesus already endured the pain of the cross to save me; I shouldn't give Him more oppurtunities to hurt. Dwelling on past things is sinful, and I really need to stop.

I decided this not too long ago, so I'm still struggling to forget what I've been through. I'm still trying to get past my hurt feelings and mentally forgive what former friends did to me. God still has to remind me that my heart has been made new by His healing, and that it will be made perfect once again.

It's a learning process....but with soul-sisters, poncho pals, and amazing song lyrics, I'm getting there. (:

love always,

~Lily

being alone isn't such a bad thing

My poncho pals introduced me to this song by Auburn. It's one of the most adorable songs I've ever heard! And it describes the exact relationship I want with my future husband; one where we're truly soul-mates, and think {almost} the same about every topic.

However....I did find something  that kind of annoyed me. There's this one lyric where the girl sings, "don't know if I could ever be without you, 'cause boy you complete me!"

I'll agree, that's a cute line. But after hearing it a few times, a question popped into my mind: why do I need a boy to complete me?

 *eye roll* I guess that sounds like a rather feminist-thought, huh? "Oh, I don't need a man! I'm a woman! I've got more than enough power on my own!"

But what I mean to say is I'm already complete. I've got Jesus in my heart, which means I'm as complete as I'll ever be! until I get to Heaven, at least....but that's for another post ;)

If I find out that God's plan for me doesn't include a husband/family, I'll be okay. Maybe it will hurt for a while, but with His love, I will survive. I have so many things I want to do with my life! Being single would allow me to do things like missions trips, spoiling my nieces/nephews, and being a full-time school teacher.

I would be free to travel the world with my best friends, without worrying about hurting my husband's feelings. I could own tons of cats, and visit my family whenever I wish.

And besides all that, I consider myself a sort of 'loner' anyway. I think, if I had to, I would be just fine on my own. And with God as my Main Man, I could do just about anything. :)

love always,

~Lily

singing, "Merry Christmas, here's to many more"

There's something about this time of year that makes me feel different. Christmastime. It's my favorite time of the year. And, contrary to popular belief, it's not because of the gifts, my family or even the music. Those details just add to the whole Christmas experience.

No...it's not any of that. Christmas is special to me because it's the only time when people all over America are singing the same music. Because people are more cheerful. Because decorating my Christmas tree is the highlight of the year for me. Because my Savior was born.
Super cliche, right? What would a Christian blog be without the author saying, "Oh, my favorite part about Christmas is Jesus' birth."

But this is one of those rare times when I enjoy being cliche. 'Cause it's true! Celebrating the birth of Christ is the reason I feel so happy right now. Christmas has always made me feel safe, cozy, and loved. It's the only month out of the whole year I am truly myself. And it's all because Jesus became a baby, born in a lowly cattle shed, who's mother was Mary. God in the flesh. His Son, come to save us all. Is that amazing, or what?

So look at me now
It's finally Christmas and I'm home
Head indoors, to get out of this weather
And I don't know how
But the closest friends I've ever known are all inside
Singing together
Singing, "merry Christmas, here's to many more."

Be merry. Be joyful. Open presents, sing carols, drink loads of hot chocolate.....and thank God for the most precious gift of all.

merry Christmas,
~Lily

I'm not who I was

When I started this blog on April 17, 2010, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. 
 I wrote rather nonsensically for almost six months. From unschooling, to a Saturday filled with movies and food, to really random posts, I talked about every topic under the sun. Then I started following other blogs, and realized I could do better than just the silly posts I used to do. I began thinking harder about my posts; planning the words out in my head before creating a post.

It was about a year ago, in December, when my blog became more popular. I would get 8-10 comments a post, and the girls who commented soon became friends. We had a little circle of Christian girls who wrote to lift up their fellow bloggers. Little by little, I felt like I'd finally found a place where I belonged.

But then....something changed. 2011 came, and with it a multitude of blessings. I became close to two special girls from blogging, who have since turned out to be two of my best friends. Emily and I were inseperable, and the kids from my co-op turned out to be amazing friends. Summer brought even more friends, from my WorldViews small group to the new pastor's daughters. And one day I realized something: I wasn't lonely anymore.

And that is the real reason I created this blog: I felt alone in my wishes, dreams, and thoughts about life. I felt like, somehow, God meant for me to start Snatched from the Wind for some reason other than just writing about everyday life.
I have met so many beautiful, wonderful people through blogging. They're sisters of the heart; girls who go through the same things I go through; girls who believe the same things I believe.

It's been almost two years....and I've changed. I'm not blogging to make friends anymore. I'm blogging for me.

I express a thank-you to all the followers who have stayed with me, even these past months when I haven't been posting as much. I promise, with the start of the new year, you'll have many more things to read. (:

yours forever,
Lily

so very restless

How the world can get me down sometimes! It gets to the point where I want to do nothing....absolutely nothing.

 You know the feeling? It's when everything in your life is absolutely crazy, confusing, and convuluted. When you wish you could just be alone. When you don't know what God is telling you to do. When unpleasant things from your past keep recurring in your mind. When you can't stop comparing yourself to other girls. When you feel like crying yourself to sleep. When you can't get your thoughts down on paper clearly. When you wonder if you'll ever amount to more than just a teenage girl who dreams silly dreams. When that one guy is absolutely wonderful, yet just beyond reach. When even a Relient K song doesn't make you feel any better. When nothing describes how you feel except Elizabeth Bennet pining over her own misfortunes. When nothing makes makes you feel normal again, except for this Psalm:

"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You."

Psalm 39:7

yep.....that's how I feel now. Not the best feeling in the world....but I suppose it shall soon pass.

but that's not fair!

*rueful laugh* As kids, how many times did we say that phrase? Mommy, it's not fair he gets one more jelly bean than me. Daddy, it's not fair I always have to walk the dog. God, it's not fair I'm not as pretty as Susanna. It's just not fair!!

Eventually, our moms/dads got fed up with our whining and proclaimed: Honey, life's not fair.

she's so cute when she's pouty ;)

At age six or seven, that saying made me oh-so-mad. It's the perfect kid shutter-upper, as there's no response to it. *shakes head* But now, ten years later, it actually makes sense.

Life isn't fair. It hasn't been since Eden. Once Adam and Eve sinned, this world has been full of unfair things.
Racial, sexist, and religious prejudices are abundant. Innocent babies die every day from abortion. People are starving to death, while others have caviar and champagne for dinner.

yup.....life's not fair. But you wanna know something crazy? I'm happy about that.

And this life sentence that I’m serving

I admit that I’m every bit deserving

But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

~Relient K

If life were truly fair, we humans would all be going to Hell. If life were fair, like we think it should be, God wouldn't care a sniff about us sinners. Because of the sin commited in the Garden of Eden, we would be condemned to an eternal death.

And yet, Jesus chose to save us. Why? Because of grace. Because we have a God who loved us so much, He sent His Son to pay the penalty for our sins. Because our Savior chose to go through the terror of Hell, just so we could have the chance to live.

Life's not fair.....and I for one am thankful for that.

Stellar Kart gets my heart

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about things other than God. Don't get me wrong---God's been in my life, but He hasn't quite been my entire focus. And, in the end, God is the only one who matters.

Don't take this the wrong way.

You're so perfect.

And everything tells me you're so worth it.

I want to get to know God better.....but for some reason, I'm finding it kind of hard to get in touch, truly, with God. I know it's got something to do with me...perhaps it's laziness. Check that: it's probably laziness.

Spending time with you.

Not a moment goes by.

That you're

not by my side.

I can always feel God with me. Whether it's a song He sends, a verse He shows me, or something wonderful that happens, God never fails to show me His love and how much He cares. So why do I still feel like I'm missing something here?

Spending time with you.

You're all that I want.

Why's it so hard to do

 I know God is with me, I love Him, and I try to give Him all my time and heart.....but sometimes, it's hard. *sighs wistfully*

Just so happens my schedule is empty.

But still there's no room for you.

Time has come and gone.

And things have come along.

That take me away from you.

God, please show me how to find more time for You and You alone.

"and oh, how He loves us.....oh"

 For the past week or so, God and I have been having a rocky time.

Check that: I've been having a rocky time. I've been wondering a lot about my future lately, and I have tons of questions......but not really any answers. Being the slight control-freak that I am, I like knowing what's coming; I like being prepared. But for things like college, jobs, and love, I have no idea what's coming.

I felt especially far from God on Sunday. Watching the memorial services on TV and seeing the grief-stricken faces on the 9/11 families made me almost angry with God.

The next few days consisted of me moping around, mad at myself for being angry with God {I think that made sense}. Then, on the way to classes yesterday, one of my favorite songs came on....and these lyrics hit home, big time.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, 

I am a tree,
bending beneath the 

weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions 

eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just 

how beautiful You are,
And how great Your 

affections are for me. 

I could have kissed David Crowder's fuzzy, bearded face for writing those words above. That last stanza: and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me---wow. 

God loves me, even when I'm angry with Him. His love toward me will never change, even when my fickle feelings do. Another part of the song is this: if His grace is an ocean we're all sinking. 

We really are all sinking in the ocean of God's grace. He has no obligation toward us bratty, silly humans....and yet, He still loves us.
Isn't that amazing?

and so I'm right back here, with questions and anger in my heart

I'd like to say that 9/11 hasn't affected my life that much.....but it has.

I'd like to say that my feelings about 9/11 are the same as they were in this post.....but they've changed.

I'd like to say, with pride, that I've forgiven those terrorists who killed themselves and my fellow countrymen...but I can't.

I'd like to say that I finally understand why God let it happen.....but I really don't.

I'd like to preach to y'all, like I did last year, about how we should feel compassion for those terrorists who didn't know God....but how can I, when I still don't feel that compassion myself?

 I'd like to say that I stay strong emotionally when I hear stories about that day.....but I break down whenever I'm alone.

I'd like to say that I trust God completely with what happened ten years ago....but I haven't gotten that far yet.

I don't know if I'll ever truly forgive those people who committed such horrible, terrifying acts against my country. And, to be honest.....I don't want to.

And so, ten years later, I'm still stuck in the same place I was: I know I should forgive; I know I should just accept that it happened; that God has a plan for everything.

But my human heart just can't seem to do it.

Where's a star when I need one?

 

Sometimes I wish I could trade places with my friends.

Then I look back at old family photos....and realize I belong with my family.

Sometimes I wish I had lived in the 1800's.

Then I consider my iPod and my computer.....and realize belong in this time.

Sometimes I wish I lived in Ireland.

Then I remember how proud I am to be an American....and realize I belong here.

Sometimes I wish I went to public school.

Then I think about all the things I've learned here.....and realize I belong at home.

Sometimes I wish I lived on a really pretty farm with no neighbors.

Then I gaze out my window at all my laughing neighbors.....and realize I belong in my neighborhood.

Sometimes I wish I was an only child.

Then I remember all the good times with my brothers......and realize they belong with me.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have freckles.

Then I get compliments on them......and realize they belong on my face.

Sometimes I wish I were a famous actress.

Then I consider all the problems they go through.....and realize I belong here at my desk.

Sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend.
Then I remember that God already has a guy picked out for me......and realize my heart belongs to him.

Sometimes I wish my family had more money.
Then I think about all the people who don't have money.....and realize how fortunate we are.

I get these thoughts all the time. But I think I am starting to {finally} realize that God has a plan and a purpose and a will for me......and I belong right here. (:

She stands in a corner, alone.

Though the room is stuffy, she keeps her sweater on. The long sleeves hide her scars; the ones she will never forget about.

She looks around the room. People are laughing and talking, but no one seems to notice her. She pushes back her bleached bangs as a group walks past. 

She smiles faintly, but they keep going. her small hands turn white as she clenches her fists. She smooths the front of her plaid dress.

Am I dressed wrong? Do they know about my scars? Should I leave?

The questions flash through her mind. A single tear runs down her cheek.  

But where can I go?

She takes a deep breath and starts to walk toward the chapel doors. Behind her, someone starts singing a hymn. She hesitates for a moment, then keeps walking. 

It's not like anyone will miss me.

She holds back the tears, but only until the doors close behind her. Then they come, freely. 

If no one wants me at a church, where can I go?

She sinks into the grass, her back against the church building. 

I can't go home, school isn't open.....where?

Her tears continue to fall. Suddenly, she hears footsteps on the sidewalk. Lifting her head, she sees a boy coming towards her. 

Seeing her face, the boy stops and kneels down. She furiously brushes away her tears, but he's already noticed.

"Why are you out here?" he asks in a quiet voice. He takes her hand and helps her to her feet. 

Studying her face, he adds, "I don't believe I've seen you around here. Did you come for the party?"

She sniffles and nods. The boy frowns. "Parties shouldn't make a girl cry. Didn't anyone talk to you?"

Another tear falls as she shakes her head. She whispers, "I, uh, didn't really get a chance to meet anyone. I ho have to go, though."

She tries to leave, but he still holds her hand. "Well, you've met me. Trenton Brown's my name." He smiles at her. "What's yours?"

Her eyes stare right into his. For a moment her guard comes back up. 

"Sophie," she finally answers. Her voice is stronger this time, with a new found confidence.

 Taking her other hand, Trenton guides her back to the church door. "You just stick with me, okay? I'll make sure everyone meets you, Sophie."

She doesn't respond, for more thoughts are running through her mind.

He is really cute. Trenton is such a nice name. Perhaps I'll make a few friends. Will I ever work up the nerve to tell Trenton about my scars?  

Her last thought as they enter the church are:

I guess God finally heard my prayers.......and maybe I finally belong somewhere.

The great questions

Earbuds in, pencil in hand, she ponders the great questions:


Where do I belong?Do I matter to people?When will I find my Prince Charming?Do guys think I'm pretty?Will I make a difference in this world?Do people think I'm awkward?Will I become a teacher?Am I a good soccer player?Who would miss me if I died today?Is my laugh weird?Do I sing badly?Am I boring?Do people enjoy talking to me?What will my first kiss be like? Will I be a disappointment to my parents?Am I a worry-wort?Will I eventually lose my friends?Will I ever lose faith in God?Am I a good sister and daughter?Will I always be loved?Will I ever visit Europe?Am I a good writer?Will I always hate rollercoasters?Will I ever ride a horse, for real?Are my dreams silly?