and so I'm right back here, with questions and anger in my heart

I'd like to say that 9/11 hasn't affected my life that much.....but it has.

I'd like to say that my feelings about 9/11 are the same as they were in this post.....but they've changed.

I'd like to say, with pride, that I've forgiven those terrorists who killed themselves and my fellow countrymen...but I can't.

I'd like to say that I finally understand why God let it happen.....but I really don't.

I'd like to preach to y'all, like I did last year, about how we should feel compassion for those terrorists who didn't know God....but how can I, when I still don't feel that compassion myself?

 I'd like to say that I stay strong emotionally when I hear stories about that day.....but I break down whenever I'm alone.

I'd like to say that I trust God completely with what happened ten years ago....but I haven't gotten that far yet.

I don't know if I'll ever truly forgive those people who committed such horrible, terrifying acts against my country. And, to be honest.....I don't want to.

And so, ten years later, I'm still stuck in the same place I was: I know I should forgive; I know I should just accept that it happened; that God has a plan for everything.

But my human heart just can't seem to do it.

Are there even words to describe it?

Most of my followers have been around to read some pretty (at least to me) emotional posts on our military men and women. Memorial Day, 9/11.......I always get serious when I'm talking/blogging about the men and women who keep our country safe.

So, for this Veteran's Day: Thank you.

Thank you, our brave countrymen and women, who risk your lives every day to keep our borders safe. You show what true courage and dedication is. Without you, the freedoms and liberties we sometimes take for granted would vanish.
Always remember, dear soldiers, that we are praying for you and that we love you.

And especially, my cousin Ryan: I think of  you daily and pray for you constantly! Love you and miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Your emotional blogger,

~lily

We will never forget..........................9/11

September 11, 2001, seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?

For me, it seems like eons ago. I was five, and the world seemed like a big place.

Then September 11 came, and the world became a big, scary place.

I don't really remember the actual day of September 11. More the aftermath, as stories, pictures, and words filled my mind.
I remember my mom and aunt standing at the kitchen counter, looking at a magazine. My head just reached above the counter, and I tried to see what they were looking at. Mom pushed the magazine from my view and told me to go play.
I remember watching the news with my mom, and seeing flashbacks of the planes crashing in to the Twin Towers. I still did not understand what was happening, other than it was bad and it made people scared.
I remember my friend's dad worked at the Pentagon, but for some reason he did not go that Tuesday. Many prayers of thankfulness were said because of God's providence.
I remember my dad coming home and telling us how he could see the smoke of the Pentagon from his office window in D.C.

I remember all of this, with a five-year old's mind. Looking back, I think How could something like this happen? How could God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, let this tragedy happen? Why did He let this happen?

Last year, I wrote this in my journal:

9/11/2009
Today marks the eight year anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. I don't remember much, since I was only five. But for eight years I've heard stories and seen tapes. For eight years, I've heard of acts of bravery and selflessness. For eight years, I've wondered how people could be so evil, so without God. I've even wondered how God could let this happen to America! But I know everything has its purpose, even the deaths of 3,000 people. It can be hard to trust in God sometimes. But no matter what, you jsut have to trust. Just keep trusting in Him.

We don't have these answers, and we never will. Only God knows why things happen.

For us, all we can do is pray without ceasing, and remember those innocent lives that were lost nine years ago. We can also, even though it is hard, try to forgive the terrorists who died alongside our countrymen.

God bless all the men and women who put themselves in harms way that Tuesday, and God bless all the people who have given their lives the past nine years in the continuing fight against terrorism.

Love,

Fantastical Friday (on Thursday! =D)

My recap is a bit early this week, 'cause my family is heading to Williamsburg for Independence Day!!!!

Enjoy your weekend, and don't forget to thank anyone you meet this weekend who is in the military for their service

My Weekly Recap

It's stuck in my head: A tie between, 'Light Up the Sky' by the Afters or 'Undone' by FFH

Gotta frame it:
At a Awakening Fest last year, my friend made this heart on the graffiti wall. It rained during the whole festival, so the spray paint kind of dripped. Doesn't it look cool though?

My lesson of the week: Being the second-best (or first!) tennis player in the world doesn't guarantee a win during Wimbledon

This about sums up my week: Interesting :)

I'll remember it forever: The USA national soccer team *sniff* losing to Ghana

Psalm of the week:

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

for he has been good to me.

Psalm 13:5-6

Love,

Memorial Day

What a crazy weekend! I apologize for my lack of posts.................I don't usually get much done during Memorial Day weekend. =)

So, anyway, I decided to share with you some poems that I like to look back on Memorial Day.

Remember

Sometimes we forget to pray

For those who keep the terror away

From the land of the free
Let us remember them on bended knee.

As we deal with bustle and fuss

And remember those who have died for us

Let us not forget to pray

For the ones who fight for us today.

The Unknown Soldier

There's a graveyard near the White House
Where the Unknown Soldier lies,

And the flowers there are sprinkled
With the tears from mother's eyes.

I stood there not so long ago

With roses for the brave

And suddenly I heard a voice

Speak out from the grave:

"I am the Unknown Soldier,

The spirit voice began

"And I think I have the right
To ask some questions, man to man.

"Are my buddies taken care of?

Was their victory so sweet?

Is that big reward you offered

Selling pencils on the street?

"Did they really win the freedom

They battled to achieve?

Do you still respect that Croix de Guerre

Above that empty sleeve?

"Does that gold star in the window

Now mean anything at all?

I wonder how my old girl feels
When she hears a bugle call.

"And that baby who sang

Hello Central, give me no man.

Can they replace her daddy

With a military band?

"I wonder if the profiteers
Have satisfied their greed?

I wonder if a soldier's mother

Ever is in need?

I wonder if the kings, who planned it all,

Are really satisfied?

They played their game of checkers

And eleven million died.

"I am the Unknown Soldier,

And maybe I died in vain,

But if I were alive and my country called,

I'd do it all over again.

We love you, dear defenders of America. No matter what the mainstream media might say, we are proud of you and we do appreciate everything you give up to keep our country safe.

God bless you and keep you all safe.

Even more courage

Speaking of courage, here's another picture of Ryan with some local kids. He's just like his dad: HE LOVES KIDS! The looks on these kids faces are priceless: They look just like any other kids you might meet, except their home is in the middle of a battlefield. Just look at the homes behind them.......comepletly ravaged. Of course, their actual homes may be somewhere else.....but someone obviously used to live in them!

Please, pray for all our troops overseas.

My brave cousin

Many of you know that my cousin, Ryan, has been in Afghanistan for many months now. We don't get very much news from him, just the occasional email. We heard a few weeks ago that he is coming home in mid-May!!!! We are sooooo excited that he will be home soon!







A couple of days ago, my Aunt Deborah sent me these pictures Ryan had taken and sent to her. Enjoy!









Ryan is the second from the left. I just love this picture.



In this one, I think he looks so much like my Uncle Mike.

Hope you all enjoyed these pics. Please continue to pray for Ryan and all our other men and women in uniform!!!!