a wake up call {of the lovey-dovey sort}

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Let me be honest: I've thought a lot about my future. As you, my dear followers, know more than most. And naturally, high up in my thoughts about 'someday' is my future husband.

I can't tell you how many times I've thought, Goodness, I wish I could get past this awkward teenager stage, and just get on with my life! I want to be married, not dating; to have a husband, not a boyfriend; to be in a forever love, not just a summer fling.

 

I'm guessing a few of you have thought that too. And whether it's because you haven't found anyone you can imagine marrying, or things in that part of your life are just too jumbled to even comprehend, you're with me on the whole, "God, can I please just find My Guy already?" issue.

'cause we all want this

Isn't so tempting to fall into this mindset? I want My Guy, even if we can't really be married for a few years. I just want him to know how much I love him! Sometimes, I think that I'm ready for that relationship....well, until God intervenes. *wry grin*

 

 Oh, our Lord. He's got pretty impeccable timing, huh? Just when I think I'm mature enough to handle a man's love, He brings something to my attention that completely changes my outlook on relationships.

This is My Guy, summed up in someone else's words. They're very nice words, aren't they? And oh-so-true. But what really got me thinking were those last three sentences. Give me your hands so I'll always be able to pray for him. Give me Your eyes so I can see good things in him. Give me Your mouth that is filled with wisdom so that I can support him.

I read those words again, then give myself a good look in my proverbial mirror. The results are quite hideous. Why should I expect to love and be loved in return by a special dude when I can't even show that love to my own family? If I can't pray for my own friends, how can I expect to pray for My Guy? If I can't see something good in every person I meet, how would I see good things in him? And if I can't let God's loving words come through my mouth to my little brothers, why should He give me a guy?

Oh, conviction. Nasty little bugger, huh? But honestly---if I want the type of man described above, I've got to be a woman as described in Proverbs 31. I really need to get closer to God, and learn His ways, before I allow myself to become truly romantically involved.

dear Beloved,
I may know you already, I may not.....but I just want you to know I'm taking these next few years to become the woman God wants me to be. I'm not ready to love you in that way, but I do love you, as the silly sixteen year-old that I am. Please be patient as I strive to become more like Him, and figure out how to be the woman you deserve.
always yours,

-L